If you are a Parent

Listen. Listen. Listen. Don't try to force her to leave. Never demand a choice between "yourself" and "him." EDUCATE yourself.

If you are a Sibling or Relative

Listen. Listen. Listen. It may be an extremely difficult balance, but it is important to keep a confidence unless you fear for her immediate safety. This is especially difficult for a father or brother - as they may want to resort to physical action. Educate yourself about the behaviors and watch for signs.

If you are an Employer

Listen. Listen. Listen. Make yourself aware of the signs and symptoms of abuse. Never minimize or downplay her concerns. Set up a plan to keep her and other employees safe at work.

If you are a Co-worker

Listen. Listen. Listen. Educate yourself about resources in the community and be ready to offer assistance, such as a hot-line number or resource for her to call.

If you are a Friend

Yours may be the most critical contact the victim makes. Listen. Listen. Listen. Don't criticize her choices, as she will stop talking to you. Be patient and educate yourself so that when she is ready, you have valuable information, such as an appropriate safety plan of escape.

If you are a Victim

Find someone you can trust and then tell them what's going on. Yes, this is hard to do, but it with help you come up with a plan to get to a safe place. You can do this. There are people out there who will help. DON'T GIVE UP!

• Know YOU ARE NOT ALONE
• HAVE A SAFETY PLAN, teach it to your children.
• MAKE COPIES of keys and important papers and leave them with someone you can get to quickly.
• HAVE A CASH STASH. Hide it or keep it with someone you can trust.
• DOCUMENT the abuse with dates, times, and as much detail you can remember.

If you are a Teen

Ladies, first and foremost YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOUR OWN BODY. Getting you drunk, or giving you drugs to get you in the mood, or because "it will make it better" is NOT love-that's manipulation.

REAL LOVE does not emotionally harm, degrade, injure you, or isolate you from other friends and family. If he starts telling you that spending time with your other friends or your family makes him think you don't love him, this should be a warning to you.

If you have Anger Issues

Seek out someone to talk to about the problem, preferably a professional. Domestic violence agencies can direct you to help. Do not try and justify the actions, there is no justification! Abuse wrong and it is a crime! It is a problem that won't just go away, but will get worse over time without help.

Make yourself understand that escalating anger issues lead to abuse that can eventually seriously hurt or kill the victim, resulting in jail time. Is that what you want? Listen to your head, listen to your counselor, listen to your heart.