I frequently write a blog for Fix the Hurt, because it has been such an important part of my life for years. We are committed to eliminating domestic violence. We see so many victims and most of them are women. We encourage them get to a safe place, and then start working on solving the problem of abuse. Some find the only solution in resolving the abuse issue is to terminate the relationship. In so many cases, without help, the victim cannot see beyond what they have known all of their lives.
Too many of them come from homes where the mother was controlled by her man, her abuser. They simply have no point of reference that indicates there is any other way. So they settle in for the regular beatings and endure. Of course, typically that is not enough for the abuser. As the victim accepts the beatings, the response to the beating is not what the abuser feels he needs. To get the desired response he must escalate the abuse and too often, one day he kills her. We try to help victims see that they can plan and be strong and get out. But, again, what is their point of reference.
For that very reason, we encourage friends and family members to be get involved in helping the victim. Hopefully, the friend or relative will have a violence free existence that will be an example, and encourage the victim to listen and take action.
As we think about domestic violence, we think about the beatings. That is not the only truly hurtful form of abuse. One victim of verbal and emotional abuse said, if you could see deeper than the skin you would see more bruising than you can imagine, and see the bruises that take so much longer to heal , if ever they do heal.
I am an action author, who writes fiction novels, some westerns, some not. In each book that I have written, I have tried to create a strong willed, affectionate and competent woman that takes nothing off anyone. I also create a male character that appreciates this woman’s strength and respects the female character. It is my hope that, if they read my writings, I can inspire some of these victims to adopt one of these female characters as a model for how they want to be. I realize these are just fiction characters, but perhaps reading about them will plant a seed, and make her want to be like that character. To quote another author, “From the tiny acorn, grows the mighty Oak”. Perhaps, even some of the men who have had bad examples in their lives, will develop a desire to follow the heroes in my books, and stop being abusive.
Fix the hurt is dedicated to stopping domestic violence. We encourage you to be alert to those who have fallen into the trap of domestic violence, and find out what you can do to make a difference in the lives of the victims.