The ongoing cover-up
I remember a line from a movie years ago. I think it was “High Road To China”. The line reflects the speed with which the attitude about Domestic Violence is changing in most countries. That line is, “The ox is slow but the earth is patient!” The problem is we cannot afford to be patient. People are dying, children are suffering and violence is not slowing.
I just read the following new
s release: “On Nov. 23, a morning talk show on Morocco’s state television aired a segment on using makeup to conceal bruises from domestic violence. It was part of a promotional effort for the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, coming up two days later.”
The photo showed a model in a chair and a cosmetologist working to cover the cuts and bruises.
“The reaction was swift and negative. The TV station apologized.”
The message that went out said to the abuser, “It is okay to abuse, it can be covered up and who will know?
The problem is the attitu
de in most countries and to some extent even here in the USA is the same. Friends, Doctors and even Clergy will often say “Just go home and be a better wife/husband.”
This of course has some very negative consequences:
The victim may feel this is the norm in all homes and do just that, try to be a better wife/husband. Thus the victim becomes desensitized to the violence. so the abuser who is looking for a reaction, has to ratchet up the violence to get a reaction the next time. And so it goes in some relationships until the victim is killed.
The program certainly sends the message to the abuser that the only problem is someone finding out so cover it up; and minimizes the emotional and physical pain experienced by the victim. Nowhere does it reflect the pain and suffering of any children in that home.
The holiday season may require increased observation to help a loved one because reported violence decreases. This is because of the expectations of change, of peace and joy. But stress levels increase due to several factors. Expectations bring added financial burdens. There are a lot of parties with their attendant problems of indiscretions, lack of trust and decreased self-control resulting from drinking alcohol.
As we enter the holiday season , If you are a victim, the courage to do what you need to do to get out, if you are an abuser, that you will find the help you need to stop, and if you are a child, freedom from your pain.